External versus Internal Conflict

Would you rather battle the world, or yourself?


Everyday is a battle to win a war. People go into battle gear when they dress each day to step out into the battlefield I refer to as life. The battle may be fought in your external surroundings, or may be fought within yourself. However, the question is, which battle is more difficult to cope with? In my opinion, a battle fought within one's self is much more painful and difficult. I strongly believe that the two go hand-in-hand. There can be external conflicts such as a difficult break-up, that can lead to an internal battle of self-esteem as well as trust issues. Although the battle between lovers is over, the battle within yourself continues, and may overlap into your everyday life. This type of conflict can control one's ability to function. You cannot escape an internal conflict because it is inside of you. It is a problem you have with yourself, and unless you attempt to resolve it, it will only get worse, and in the end; destroy you.
I remember growing up  within an extremely solemn setting. I was brought up with violence, anger, and death. Everyday was a constant battle within my external world. It was difficult to function let alone enjoy life. My external world caved into my internal world, causing me to re-evaluate myself as a human being. I constantly found myself questioning whether there was a God, or some Supernatural being who had it out for me. Being an infant when the chaos broke out and well into my highschool years, I found that I had differed from my peers. I cherished moments that many people seemed to overlook. I second-guessed myself when self-assurance was keen. I battled myself each and everyday, appalled by the person I had grown to be. When you are plagued with so much pain within such a vast amount of time, it wears you down. We all have our inner demons, and we each have to battle them everyday. Everyday I step out into the world and "strive to thrive," I am winning a battle that is part of a much larger war.


So  I ask you once again, would you rather battle the world or yourself?