Understanding My Culture and my Namesake

Above is a video of Taino Indian histroy. My Great-Grandmother and Grandmother where Taino Indians. My Great Grandmother was 114 years old when she passed away, I was only 8, but my Grandmother used to sit with her and I and recall wonderful memories of her tribe. I do not remember most of what she said, however, as I grew up my own mother told me of the history behind our family. I remember her telling me the reason she gave me the first part of my middle name; Taina, because I was blessed to be a descendant of the  tribe. I was given my name from my Great Grandmother, Abdullia Delia-Taina Rivera, who married outside of her tribe to the love of her life, thus creating her legacy. My name gives me a great sense of pride in knowing that I derive from a group of people who endured so much and never lost hope. I am happy to be Desirée Taina-Lee Solórzano, great granddaughter of an amazing and strong woman.

And just as a bonus; a link to an old mythology of the Taino Princess, her lover, and the fate they share.http://www.hartford-hwp.com/archives/41/292.html

Viva la Vida- Frida Kahlo

Voodoo Girl

Her skin is white cloth,
and she's all sewn apart
and she has many colored pins
sticking out of her heart.

She has many different zombies
who are deeply in her trance.
She even has a zombie
who was originally from France.

But she knows she has a curse on her,
a curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets
too close to her,

the pins stick farther in.”
― Tim Burton

Dinah used to always worry that she’d end up alone,
Because she struggled to abandon her comfort zone.
Surrounded by books is where she felt right at home,
Many weekend nights spent pouring over a new tome.

And while she has friends, she’s no one’s one and only
Despite no significant other,…

Virginia Woolf's Suicide note to her husband, Leonard

“If anybody could have saved me it would have been you.”

My 102 Epiphany: Discovering my Ah-Ha Moment!

Have you ever had that moment of sudden clarity? Everyone has, and it seems to be the most electrifying moment that almost stops time itself. I guess that is what this English 102 class has been for me, a moment of sudden clarity. Why do I say this, well for one, it is rare that a scholar comes across a truly passionate instructor that pours out the true contents of his or her heart and mind. It is this that creates a sudden ripple effect in the water.

From the moment I entered Professor Mignano-Brady's classroom, I knew I was going to have to work hard, not just because I was late and absent almost every single day, but because I knew from the inflection and tone of her voice that she wasn't just looking to teach a few concepts and call it a day. She truly wanted us as her students, and young scholars to actually get our gears grinding and build abstract thoughts on our own. To relate her class to the world around us. And that what this class has done for me. Sure student's always tell their professors that they learned so much and that is was all wonderful and great, without truly meaning it, however this is not the case. Sure, most of the students can come up with a lot of the ideas that were spoken in class, but some were not so easily crafted. And to have the ability to relate it to history, social, and political issues is just a bonus.

This class has helped me think fast on my feet, and use my mind as a filing cabinet, so that one idea or event helps trigger something in my memory that will allow me to relate it to something I have learned in the past. It may seem like a simple task to most, however, it may not be so simple to others. Five years from now I can only expect that I will continue to improve on my writing skills,creative thinking, and hopefully I will be one step closer to mastering my true passion for writing.

The Human Condition

Literature is means of describing the human condition. That is the underlying theme. We have seen many sides to the human condition as Dante and Shakespeare would have it. We have explored pain, pleasure, isolation, and the need for human communication. We have explored blue devils, and learned of those who hear Puccini when they fall in love. We have explored the paramount desire to be free and loved, and this is the idea of the human condition.  As Eugene Ionesco, a French Dramatist, once said,“No society has been able to abolish human sadness, no political system can deliver us from the pain of living, from our fear of death, our thirst for the absolute. It is the human condition that directs the social condition, not vice versa.”

I can not exceed the words of Ionesco because he has managed to encompass the broad and complex aspects of the human condition in one statement, and I can assure you, my version would be much more lengthy. But I will say this. I possess a euphoric sense of pride and pleasure that I am human. I cherish the fact that I can possess emotions. I adore the fact that I can make my own Utopia as I please, with strength I know I possess. I commit the sin of Pride, in that I am proud of all that I have accomplished, and all that I plan to conquer in my path to my own Paradise. The human condition is no scarlet letter. It is a mark I wear proudly.

When Love and Life Share One Coffin

“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”

                                                                                                                        -Khalil Gibran

The Ripper leaves a path of calamity when stealing the love of another.  Love; although an overused and over abused words; is merely a word that does little justice to idea that it represents. Love represents all the feelings, words, nonexistent words, and memories that we share with another individual. Each time you love, it is different, therefore; it is just to say that it is incomparable.  And when love is disrupted by any means, it can cause the slow deterioration of a person or people. Skeeter Davis’ “The End of the World,”  W.H. Auden’s , “Stop all the Clocks, Cut Off the Telephone,” and Margaret Atwood’s “Death of a Young Son By Drowning,” sublimely depicts the arduous inner battle that plague’s an individual  when grieving the loss of a loved one. Slowly but surely, he or she will begin to lose track of time, happiness, and begin to express piety for the lost loved one. But the reoccurring theme, throughout each song and poem, is that once you lose someone you love, you slowly die with the love you shared with that person.

There are many forms of death when speaking of love. There is the death of a lover, the death of a family member, or the death of a love affair. But there is one major affect that each type of death has on a person, and that is anguish. All death brings sadness that is unavoidable. But it is this sadness that causes an emptiness that eats away at us. As in Davis’ “The End of the World,” the woman sings “Why does my heart go on beating? Why do these eyes of mine cry? Don’t they know it’s the end of the world. It ended when you said goodbye.” (Davis 13-16). The woman is confused how she could possibly be living when the person that she loves no longer shares the same feelings for her. The woman is expressing her deep confusion with how her body is still functioning when internally she is broken. She expects her sadness to be the death of her as does the narrator of Auden’s “Stop the Clocks, Cut off the Telephone,” when he or she says “ Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; For nothing now can ever come to any good.” (Auden 14-16). The narrator is convinced that now that his or her lover is dead, the world need not continue. The speaker is flooded with such emptiness that he or she believes that the world in itself has ended, and for this, there is no further reason to live. One can infer that by “Packing up the moon and dismantling the sun” the show, that is life in and of itself; is now over. Auden’s poem is much like Atwood’s poem, “Death of a Young Son by Drowning,” in that exhaustion for life takes place once you lose a loved one. “After the long trip I was tired of waves. My foot hit rock. The dreamed sails collapsed, ragged.” (Atwood 25-27). The parent in this poem lost a son when he journeyed out into the world or the way the speaker depicts as “the sea.” And he died out at sea, drowned perhaps during his journey of self-discovery. And the parent, now discovering the “swamped body” (Atwood 18), has been plagued with devastation. And the feeling that is beyond devastation is the emptiness. And the son’s parent has found him or herself tired of the “waves” or one can infer; life. He or she has hit rock, as does a ship when it can no longer go any further to the shore. His or her ships’ sails have “collapsed” and are “ragged,” he or she can no longer use them for direction and movement. Once a child is lost, a parent’s own ship begins to fall apart, and it is at this moment that they die on the inside. And once an individual dies on the inside, they lose track of time and reality.

Death ceases all time. Time seems to be nonexistent when you lose someone. You can sit in one place for what seems to be a second, and be there for weeks. Or you can be somewhere for just a few minutes, and feel like you have been there for an eternity. Time is obsolete when one is suffering. As Davis says in “The End of the World,” I wake up in the morning and I wonder, Why everything’s the same as it was. I can’t understand. No, I can’t understand, How life goes on the way it does.” (Davis 9-12). Davis’ perplexity for the enigma of the course of time is conveyed in these lines. She does not understand how the world can seem so untouched by such a loss. She expects the world to be crumbling at the event that she is alone, much like Auden’s speaker in” Stop the Clocks, Cut off the Telephone.” The speaker states in the first lines “Stop the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.” Earlier in history, old traditions were practiced; that when a person died, one must go throughout the home and stop the clocks at the exact time of death. Because at that hour, death had seniority over time. Perhaps, this is what the speaker is trying to say. Now that his or her lover is dead, out of respect, time should cease, much like the speaker in Atwood’s, “Death of a Young Son by Drowning,” who finds him or herself perturbed by the continuation of springtime. “It was spring, the sun kept shining, the new grass kept to solidity; my hands glistened with details.” (Atwood 22-24). The parent watched as the course of nature continued to flourish as the memory of his or her son’s death remains on his/her hands. Much like Lady Macbeth’s inability to wash the blood from her hands, perhaps it is guilt for letting his or her son venture out into the world alone. Perhaps death was the price to pay. However after death, the dead seem to become almost God-like in the eyes of the mourner.

How often does one see a person being worshipped in death? It occurred throughout history, and it occurs now. People have a tendency of worshiping the dead. The dead become Deities and the living becomes pious worshipers. Davis glorifies her lover in “The End of the World,” when stating “Why do the birds go on singing? Why do the stars glow above? Don’t they know it’s the end of the world. It ended when I lost your love.” (Davis 5-8). She perceived the love she shared with this God-like creature to be so significant that at the loss of it, the birds have no business singing, and the stars have no business glowing. It is almost audacious that they dare carry out their normal activities. One can also infer that Davis perceives this lover as God-like and to her, he or she no longer exists to her, therefore, without a God, Birds, moons, stars, waves, all of nature would not exist, therefore, it is unbelievable that they all remain unscathed. The same instance occurs when Auden’s speaker states “He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.” (Auden 9-13). The speaker describes his or her lover as the source of his/her life. As many religious groups would say, God is in everything they do, see, and don’t see. The speaker’s lover was his/her God. And his/her faith perished along with the death of the lover (God). However in the case with Atwood’s speaker in “A Death of a Son by Drowning,” the speaker perceives his or her son as a hero. An eternal relic. “ I planted him in this country like a flag.” ( Atwood28-29). The parent views his/her son as a reminder of the valiant traveler that he was. As a parent buries his or her soldier, a person who fought for their country, the parent in this poem buries his/her son, he/she believes him to be as brave as a soldier. And he will forever represent greatness.

The moral of the story is that, there may be differences in the way we lose people, and the way grief hits us, but there is always elements and stages that no one person can ignore. Losing any person you love is devastating, and everything from that point on will seem meaningless. Whether that person is alive, happily without you, or buried six feet under, the pain is just as deep. The scars may lighten over time, but they will still remain. So when you come into contact with a person with scars, just remember, that for each scar that person has, a part of them has died away.

Anthology of Rap

Rap over recent years has carried negative connotations and stigmas. However, I prefer to trim the layers of public ridicule so that I can get to the raw core of rap. I have two very talented friends who take their raps very seriously, as they should. They treat their poems like art., because that is what they are. I heard the words pour out of their mouths with a smooth flow and a catchy beat, helping me understand why this is a "Renaissance of the Word." Rap is poetry. That is the underlying fact. Poetry is meant to be spoken with heart and soul, and that is exactly what takes place when a rapper performs his rap. Rap is intended to speak truths. But the talent comes with presentation. As Lauryn Hill once said, " I treat this like my thesis. Well-written topic broken down into pieces. I introduce then produce words so profuse," this is the true embodiment of  Rap.

" We don't read and write poetry because it's cute, we read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.Poetry, beauty, romance and love, these are what we stay alive for." - Robin Williams, Dead Poets Society. 1989

Poetry is a magical form of art. Poetry is the artistic side of language. Poetry weeds out emotions within the poet, emotions which they may not know they had in the first place, and provide a visual image of emotions and ideas through words. Poetry helps to convey the poets true feelings. The most wonderful aspect of poetry is that it can be applied to people of different culture's and ages. It unites people through universal emotions and similar events. If poetry is mastered, the poet him or herself; will find that he or she has now mastered language by successfully understanding the emotional and intellectual aspects of it. It is through this that the poet has learned how to train and develop their use of emotional language. And through the use of rhythm, tones, and inflection, readers can understand hidden meanings in words and phrases. This of course helping both the reader and poet see the world through each others perspective. Poetry is the art of bringing emotions and images within words to life.

Now if one is puzzled by the benefits to which mastering poetry may provide, one can look at a song. When you read the lyrics of a song, before hearing the way in which it is sung, and the rhythm to which it is presented; many times we skim through the lines, without ever taking in the emotion that the composer is trying to convey. Sure, we may catch a few ideas that we believe the composer is trying to convey, however; without spoken words, how can we truly embody the emotions in which the words are being said. I can write "I love you," and this can seem almost seem to be absent of meaning; however if I were to slowly approach your ear and softly whisper, "I love you," these words have taken on meaning. They are expressing my emotions, my strength, and my desire to express myself. This does not mean that the feeling will be mutual. But any person would be fortuitous to fall victim to my love.

Secrets: The Silent Tormentor

“For sin is just this, what man cannot by its very nature do with his whole being; it is possible to silence the conflict in the soul, but it is not possible to uproot it."
-Martin Buber
Silence can be deadly. And it is the concealment of secrets that forces people into a world of solitude, undoubtedly pushing them into a downward spiral into madness. Perhaps the largest problem that has faced mass populations and individuals throughout history is the inability to speak up for oneself during a time of crisis. Ernest Hemingway’s “Hills like White Elephants;” Jhumpa Lahiri’s “Interpreter of Maladies;” and Michael Cunningham’s novel and movie, “The Hours” reflect the inner struggles of an individual when forced into a world of silence. Perhaps the recurring element that presents itself in all three literary works is the conflict that springs from hidden desires and emotions. The conflict being, that once an individual is driven to hide his or her true desire’s based on Society’s standards, he or she must confront a series of crossroads with: society, their self and significant people in their lives.

Society pressures individuals into concealing thoughts and actions it deems taboo based on “its” values and norms. And individuals dangerously make extreme efforts to keep such thoughts and actions hidden, so as not disturb the flow of life. However in doing so, one must decide whether they should put aside their own desires so as not to be deemed perverted, or ignore society’s “rules” and do as he or she pleases. This is the first crossroads one will encounter.

Hemingway brilliantly highlights a scene where a confused Jug is being coerced into getting an unwanted abortion; with the use of inference, by an American lover. ““…You don’t have to be afraid. I’ve known lots of people that have done it.” “So have I,” said the girl. “And afterward they were all so happy.” “Well,” the man said, “if you don’t want to you don’t have to. I wouldn’t have you do it if you didn’t want to. But I know it’s perfectly simple.”” (Hemingway 115). In this scene, the man as well as Jug herself, are trying to convince her that although Society is against abortions, the rather “simple” operation is the best choice to make at this set of crossroads. However, this only leads Jug into a further emotional isolation, much like Lahiri’s character; Mrs. Das.

Mrs. Das; an Indian American wife; was thrown into the roles of wife, mother, and homemaker at a very early age, roles in which she was never fully prepared to play. “After marrying so young she was overwhelmed by it all, having a child so quickly, and nursing, and warming up bottles of milk and testing their temperature against her wrist while Raj was at work…”( Lahiri 63). Mrs. Das knew that society expects women to have the maternal and domestic instincts that are intertwined with marriage and building a family. However, Mrs. Das, like so many silent women, were never quite content with just being married and having children. And at this very moment in this scene, Mrs. Das is finally admitting that when it came down to Society versus herself, society had won, and now she must come to terms with her unhappiness.

Unfortunately, in Cunningham’s’ The Hour, his portrayal of Virginia Woolf was the epitome of Society’s brute influence on the human spirit and mind. “I've been attended by doctors, who inform me OF MY OWN INTERESTS.” (The Hours). “This is my right; it is the right of every human being. I choose not the suffocating anesthetic of the suburbs, but the violent jolt of the Capital, that is my choice. The meanest patient, yes, even the very lowest is allowed some say in the matter of her own prescription. Thereby she defines her humanity. I wish, for your sake, Leonard, I could be happy in this quietness.” (The Hour). In this scene, Woolf is arguing with her husband Leonard, that the men in society are forcing their views upon her and it is causing her to go mad. She is constantly fighting a battle between what she wants and what society is trying to thrust upon her. And the only thing she wants is to simply return to her home in London, where her family and friends reside. However, her cries for help were shunned, thus resulting in an internal battle.

Once society has cast an iron grip on your life, it is hard to escape it. In fact, most people often found their inner desire belittled and ignored, thus resulting in an internal conflict. Therefore, emotional isolation brought on our conflict with society results in a conflict with ourselves.

Hemingway slowly depicts the battle within Jug with scene where Jug continues to question whether or not she really wants to have the child inside of her. ““They’re lovely hills,” she said. “They don’t really look like white elephants. I just meant the coloring of their skin through the trees.”” (Hemingway 115). In this scene, Jug goes as far as negating the statement she said when she referred to the hills as white elephants. White elephants are creatures or gifts in the Asian culture that are exceptionally difficult to maintain; much like children. And Jug, wanting to convince the American that perhaps having a child will not be so expensive and living a grounded lifestyle would not be so bad, hopes that she can have some sort of peace of mind if he agrees with her. This is the second type of crossroad.

Lahiri similarly displays a troubled Mrs. Das with overbearing guilt about her lack of domestic and maternal skills and desires. ““It means that I’m tired of feeling so terrible all of the time. Eight years, Mr. Kapasi, I’ve been in pain eight years”” (Lahiri 65). In this scene, Mrs. Das is clearly acknowledging the fight she has had with herself every day for the past eight years. One can infer that the weight of society on her shoulders grew far too heavy for her to bear, and slowly she began to cave inside. This also being the case for Virginia Woolf in Cunningham’s novel.

Perhaps the most compelling of Woolf’s statements in her life was this, “If I were thinking clearly, Leonard, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark, and that only I can know. Only I can understand my condition. You live with the threat, you tell me you live with the threat of my extinction. Leonard, I live with it too.” (The Hour ). By this statement, one can only imagine the hell that Woolf must endure when she is constantly told that she as a woman must obey all men, care for children, and put aside all personal aspirations for the good of society. This is the primary example of a conflict with one’s self. She is in constant threat of losing her sanity, taking her life, and worse, losing all of her humanity.

Once the battle against society and your own internal demons arises, the only thing left is to seek help. Thus, the “you versus a significant person in your life” occurs. This deriving from the essential need to connect with someone and seek guidance from them, but usually results in disappointment and pain.

Hemingway’s Jug, sought approval from the American man, by trying to get him to want her to have the baby. ““ And you really want to?” “I think it’s the best thing to do. But I don’t want you to do it if you don’t really want to.” “And if I do it you’ll be happy and things will be like they were and you’ll love me?”” (Hemingway 115). Guidance is essential when trying to ease the mind, however, the results usually leave one more confused and pained.

In Lahiri’s story, Mrs. Das confesses her sins to Mr. Kapasi as if he was a priest and she was the sinner. “I was hoping you could help me feel better, say the right thing. Suggest some kind of remedy.” (Lahiri 65). Mrs. Das assumed that because Mr. Kapasi interprets maladies for a living, that perhaps he can provide a cure for her internal sickness. However, she is disappointed with what little she is given to work with by Mr. Kapasi’s question on whether it was just guilt that plagued her. This only left Mrs. Das hurt, like Jug, and Virginia Woolf.

In one scene of The Hours, Woolf states “I can't think of anything more exhilarating than a trip to London.” (The Hours), while sitting with her husband, Leonard. And at this moment she wants him to go with her. She pleads for him to return them to London. And Leonard gives in, but when he fails to keep his end of the bargain and discouraged Woolf depicts her own future in the novel she is writing. “I was going to kill my heroine. But I've changed my mind. I fear I may have to kill someone else, instead… It's on this day. This day of all days. Her fate becomes clear to her.” (The Hours).  It is here that Virginia Woolf decides to take her own life by collecting rocks and putting them in her robe pockets so that they may weigh her down in the river. This is what secrets and silence does to a person. It erodes their innards. It shows that society has won. 

Interpretation Time

" Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor, it must be demanded by the oppressed."

                                                                                                         - Martin Luther King

A person cannot hold you down if you do not let them. If you allow your will to be broken, as does a horse by his owner, than you have given up the right to be a free human being. An oppressor will never let you out of his/her/or their grasps, unless you take a stand for what you believe in. Freedom is not handed on a platter, that we have learned from history. All great battles are won by those who are led by their hearts.
Take for instance, Alice Paul's battle for women's rights to vote. The Women's Suffrage Movement is a impeccable example of  the one person swimming against the tide. As Paul lived by her words, "There will never be a new world order until women are a part of it," she demonstrated the power of the human spirit. She took a stand in a society that refused to take her ideas and demands seriously and in the end she proved that the only means of ever truly gaining freedom is to reach out and take it for yourself.

Hemingway's imprint on the Post Modern era.

What scholar does not know of the brilliance of Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway brilliantly depicted the real flaws in people, of mind, body, and soul. Hemingway's composition of Hills Like White Elephants, exposes the idea's and weaknesses of one woman who longs to have the child she bears, but also wishes to keep the man she loves, who however wants her to abort the fetus. Hemingway wrote this piece in a time where the topic of abortion was merely a "hush hush" situation, never to be spoken of publicly. In the story, the woman compares the hills to white elephants; being an extended metaphor of a child who is expensive much like the Asian White Elephant in mythology. However, the American fails to see that although a child, much like a white elephant is expensive and time consuming, the reward of the white elephant is much greater. A white elephant may seem useless, as in the American dictionary depicts; however, to the Asian culture, the expense is nothing compared to the value of the gift itself. However, Hemingway brings up social and political issues that have been set for us today.
In the case of Roe vs Wade (1973), it was declared that a woman has a right to her privacy, this being the platform for Pro-choice advocates. However, the story is set when abortion was illegal. The woman's lover was planning on having her undergo an illegal abortion. Hemingway writes ""...You don't have to be afraid. I've known lots of people that have done it." ""So have I," said the girl. "And afterward they were all so happy." "Well," the man said, "if you don't want to you don't have to. I wouldn't have you do it if you didn't want to. But it's perfectly simple."" (Hemingway 115). This scene perfectly depicts the man's overwhelming power over the girl, and his imposing views on her pregnancy. The poor girl merely wants to please the man,even at the risk of ignoring her own desire's to have the baby. This is perhaps being a perfect example of the power that men had over women, and women's desire's to please, even at the risk of their own happiness. However, at some point, women must understand that they are human beings and have every right to be happy. Although the reader does not know the path Jug will choose, one can only hope that she chose the path to happiness, be it filled with  white elephants.

27 October 1892

Censorship Committee

New England Magazine Inc.

209 Union Wharf

Boston, MA 02109

  

The Censorship Committee,

As a member of the National Organization of Women, I believe I can speak on behalf of the organization when I say that NOW is offended and outraged with the Censorship Committee’s decision to refuse publication of Charlotte Perkins-Gillman’s “The Yellow Wallpaper.”

The decision to refuse publication of Mrs. Gillman’s work is a direct insult to women all around the world. The refusal is undoubtedly an act of oppression of women’s rights. Gillman’s work illuminates a dark world for women all around the world. She recognizes the roles that women play in the world and in their own settings. She merely sheds light on the hidden struggles of women in the 19^th Century. As a Committee surely comprised of men, you are blinded by superiority, that you cannot see the important roles that your wives, sisters, and mothers’ play in your everyday lives. We, the women of America and all around the world; care for our husbands and children; feed them; clean after them; provide a comfortable living for them. We pour love into everything we do, and sweat devotion into everything we make. So why is it that women, who act as the foundation in which a household is built on, are treated as if we are children; unable to form; let alone understand complex ideas and statements. Why must women’s growth be hindered by the frightened men that claim to take care of us?

Perhaps you, the members of the Censorship Committee hold the same sadistic pleasure of oppressing women as did Silas Weir Mitchell, with his “Rest Cure.” Gillman was a victim of Mitchell’s rest cure. She was placed in a Philadelphia asylum for depression, forced into a solitary world, isolated from family and friends. Now I don’t know about you gentlemen, but I have never been cured of anything when I am fighting a disease alone. Fighting something as serious as depression is no laughing matter. Mitchell may preach that his rest cure, allows women to avoid negative influences, while allowing them to gain strength in order to better health; however, this is all a ruse. By stripping women of all outside contact; denying them the right to read, write, or speak to their family and friends; they are slowly breaking women’s spirits, and pushing them to the brink of insanity. My question to you “gentle” men is why must you be so cruel, and so hesitant to give women a chance to reach their full potential?

Society tells us that women should be home-makers. We should be at home cooking, cleaning, staying beautiful for our husbands, and welcoming them once they get home. Gentlemen, have you ever taken the time to think about the hard work your wives and mothers put into the things that make you happy? And to be forced into a world of silence and obedience, you would have woman no better than domesticated animals, petting them when they have done good. But do women not have a voice? Times are changing and it’s time that we recognize that women are strong beings, fully capable of abstract thoughts and hard work. We must move away from old traditions and work towards an Egalitarian society, because it is these old foundations that are driving women mad. You must understand that Gillman is only speaking on behalf of women who suffer with the tyrants that run their everyday lives. You may censor her, but you cannot censor a population that is greater than your own, for one day they will revolt. Now you may be deeply offended by this letter; however, this is only a faint whisper in an oncoming roar that will be the voice of women everywhere.

Sincerely,

Desiree Solórzano

Two masks of a woman: Homemaker & Creeper

The history of women surviving in society can only be described as miserable, painful, and many times a lonely story. Let us go back in time, and stop in the 1800's. Women were seen as property. The African American men  gained the right to vote before white women, yet white women were thought more highly of. How is this you ask? I wish I understood myself. Women were thought of as precious fragile beings who needed to be taken care of by either her father, or if married; her husband. They were property in a patriarchal society. Forced into domestic duties prescribed to them. Only to slowly descend into madness. Charlotte Perkins-Gilman; being a victim of one of the many oppressive methods of women; known as Silas Weir Mitchell's, "Rest Cure". Gillman exposes the harsh realities and affects of the "Rest Cure" that many spirited women were forced to endure in her short story, The Yellow Wallpaper. 

Perhaps this Gothic horror best displays the horrific events of one woman who is slowly losing her sanity while being forced to rest in a room with a horrific reminder of her imprisonment as a woman. Gillman's chilling words "I don't like to look out of the windows even- there are so many of those creeping women, and they creep so fast. I wonder if they all come out of the wallpaper as I did? " (Gillman 327), shows the horrifying descent into madness. The narrator truly believes that women are escaping from the wallpaper, the horrifying, restricting wallpaper. When she writes "I suppose I shall have to get back behind the pattern when it comes night, and that is hard! It is so pleasant to be out in this great room and creep around as I please! I don't want to go outside. I won't, even if Jennie asks me to. For outside you have to creep on the ground, and everything is green instead of yellow." (Gillman 327). The narrator has finally recognized that she is one of those creeping women. The women who long to break free of the ghastly yellow wallpaper that one may infer is Gillman's depiction of the patriarchal society in which they live in. As Gillman conveys, it is only human to desire to be free. It is part of the human condition.

What Harm Can a Few White Lies Do?

“Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces.” – Sigmund Freud

What do humans seek? Love, happiness, and success? Science tells us that animals seek pleasure, just as humans; however, we as humans go to a much farther extent to achieve pleasure. Sigmund Freud tells us that we all have innate desires, desires we wish to enjoy without thinking about current tribulations or consequences. However Freud also states, that it is inevitable for fantasy and reality to eventually cross paths, undoubtedly causing a path of destruction. Human desires and little white lies spin a web of deception around Tennessee Williams’ play, A Street Car Names Desire.

So the question of the hour is why do people lie? Is it because the truth is so outlandish that it would be a crime just to present it as itself? Or is it just easier to lie instead of  cope with the disapproving looks and gestures that may slapped upon on us by society? Deception plays a great deal in Williams play. One of Williams’ main characters, Blanche—a fallen aristocratic socialite—battles inner demons while on her last visit to see her married younger sister, Stella; in a small apartment in New Orleans, Louisiana. But slowly her demons began to make an appearance upon her arrival, causing a composed Blanche to lose all sanity and dignity. Blanche left her home Belle Reve in Laurel, Mississippi, after losing the land to the bank, and being let go from her job as an English school teacher after the schools superintendent discovered an affair Blanche had been carrying out with a seventeen year old boy. Blanche hides her perverted desires with continuous lies and vague explanations as dialogued “…I was so exhausted by all I’d been through my—nerves broke…I was on the verge of lunacy, almost! So Mr. Graves…the superintendent—he suggested I take a leave of absence.” (Williams 1170). Without further explanation she quickly changes the subject. And once asked by Stella’s Polish husband, Stanley; how the property at Belle Reve was taken from her she simply said she did not know. However Stanley’s personal goal was to piece together Blanche’s stories in hopes of discovering the truth. Stanley acts as Blanche’s counterpart, and Stella is merely the referee. Stanley, wanting nothing short of the truth states “I don’t want no ifs, ands or buts! What’s all the rest of them papers?” (Williams 1182).  However after reviewing legal papers, Stanley was left with more unanswered questions than when he started. Now along with the constant vague answers and strange ways Blanche acted, there was no denying that the woman exuded that of a sexual feline. Blanch used sex appeal to distract men from any flaws that she had. The obvious one being that she was a fading beauty well in her early thirties. Blanche avoided light because what does light do? It shows that which cannot be seen in the dark. Williams uses light as a motif, one that Blanche avoids at all costs. Blanche cannot bear the thought of being in the light for fear that her true colors will show and all the detailed lies she has colored with them. At one point she even buys a Chinese paper lantern to cover the bare light bulb in the bedroom. “…I can’t stand a naked light bulb, any more than I can a rude remark or a vulgar action” (Williams 1189). One can infer that Blanche relates bare lights with crude remarks and actions that may be directly related to her and what society deems right. Darkness is to illusion as lightness is to clarity. And Blanche wants to live in darkness.

Blanche even attempts to woo one of Stanley’s gullible friends, Marvin; through a series of lies. At one point she even tells Stella “…He thinks I’m sort of—prim and proper, you know!...I want to deceive him enough to make him—want me…” (Williams 1203). Here Williams shows that underlying desire to lie so that one can achieve ones ultimate pleasures. In fact, Blanche is not the only one who refuses to face the music when it comes to sexual desires. Even Stella falls victim to her own sexual cravings, which Blanche so hypocritically points out after a heated fight that Stella and Stanley had the night before over music and a physical confrontation. Which only led to Stella forgiving an abusive Stanley and following out with the old saying Let Bygones be Bygones by entering their apartment and making love. Blanche attempts to show Stella that she knows Stella’s eagerness to forgive Stanley is based on heightened sexual desires but a defensive Stella states “…But there are things that happen between a man and a woman in the dark—that sort of make everything else seem—unimportant” (Williams 1197). Blanche of course responds with “…What you are talking about is brutal desire—just—Desire!” (Williams 1197), something Blanche knows all too well. In fact, the majority of Blanche’s lies she composes are used to mask her inner desires. For instance, as mentioned in an earlier quote, Blanche fails to tell her sister about her sexual preferences towards a younger male population. However, Williams shows us that it was not just a one-time affair that she was reprimanded for but that she was a repeat offender. Once seeing a young boy collecting donations for a local newspaper, Blanche acts out of accordance to society and says “Come here. I want to kiss you, just once, softly and sweetly on your mouth! [Without waiting for him to accept, she crosses quickly and presses her lips to his.]Now run along, now quickly! It would be nice to keep you, but I’ve got to be good—and keep my hands off children” (Williams 1205). In fact, this is Williams’ finest examples of how dark human desires can be, and how we all sometimes slip from social norms and feed into our inner cravings. But the cherry to the cake is when Mitch called Blanche on her elaborate façade and she responded “ I don’t want realism. I want magic!... Yes, yes, magic! I try to give that to people. I misrepresent things to them. I don’t tell what ought to be truth. And if that is sinful, then let me be damned for it!—Don’t turn the light on!” (Williams 1224).

One can infer, that Williams uses ideas such as fantasy, reality, deception, and desire to shed light on the inner workings of the human mind. While some people may be realists, and embrace a say it like you see it principle, others prefer to live in the shades of grey, in a fantasy world where they are perfect. But then there are people who take a little bit of both worlds and combine it to make one balanced world. A world where you face reality but indulge in a little fantasy, and perhaps from time-to-time, tell a little white lie.

External versus Internal Conflict

Would you rather battle the world, or yourself?


Everyday is a battle to win a war. People go into battle gear when they dress each day to step out into the battlefield I refer to as life. The battle may be fought in your external surroundings, or may be fought within yourself. However, the question is, which battle is more difficult to cope with? In my opinion, a battle fought within one's self is much more painful and difficult. I strongly believe that the two go hand-in-hand. There can be external conflicts such as a difficult break-up, that can lead to an internal battle of self-esteem as well as trust issues. Although the battle between lovers is over, the battle within yourself continues, and may overlap into your everyday life. This type of conflict can control one's ability to function. You cannot escape an internal conflict because it is inside of you. It is a problem you have with yourself, and unless you attempt to resolve it, it will only get worse, and in the end; destroy you.
I remember growing up  within an extremely solemn setting. I was brought up with violence, anger, and death. Everyday was a constant battle within my external world. It was difficult to function let alone enjoy life. My external world caved into my internal world, causing me to re-evaluate myself as a human being. I constantly found myself questioning whether there was a God, or some Supernatural being who had it out for me. Being an infant when the chaos broke out and well into my highschool years, I found that I had differed from my peers. I cherished moments that many people seemed to overlook. I second-guessed myself when self-assurance was keen. I battled myself each and everyday, appalled by the person I had grown to be. When you are plagued with so much pain within such a vast amount of time, it wears you down. We all have our inner demons, and we each have to battle them everyday. Everyday I step out into the world and "strive to thrive," I am winning a battle that is part of a much larger war.


So  I ask you once again, would you rather battle the world or yourself?

Free Will versus Fate

Throughout our lives, we are constantly being drilled with two concepts that may or may not explain the events that take place within our lives; the concepts of free will and fate. The idea of fate has dated back centuries ago and still exists today. Fate is the idea that all things happen because they are part of a blue print of our lives. Those who believe in fate believe nothing that we do, or experience is a coincidence. These events being the work of some supernatural being that has already mapped out the details and destinies of our lives before we were even born. Of course, the concept of fate is most commonly seen in religious groups today. However, it is not as common as it was decades ago due to the changes in technology, society, and ideas. Today most people believe in the concept of free will. Free will is the idea that each individual has a choice in how their lives will pan out. In Sophocles’ "Antigone", one can say that Sophocles was conveying the idea of Fate within the story. One can infer that the fates of the characters had been predetermined, and that it was no coincidence that Creon’s sudden awareness of his fate, and the events that followed were disastrous. After being informed that his actions will lead to his own demise, Creon set out to undo what has already been done. Thus leading in the death of the one’s he loved most; his son and wife. “Everything in my hands is crossed. A most unwelcome fate has leaped upon me.” (Sophocles 1164). The moral of the story is quite simple. No one can escape their fate, no matter how hard they try.

Owning Your Moxie

Oh What I would give to have the beauty of Helen,so that I too may start an epic of war! What I would give to have Amelia's spirit so that I too may soar  the skies.What I would give to have Frida's gift of hand, so that I too can paint the human condition! What I would give to have Virginia's gift of words, so that I may too speak the corners of the mind. What I would give to have Antigone's gift of valor, so that I may too stand up for what is in my heart! To own your moxie, is to shed your skin, step out into the world and walk with indubitable pride!